


Stupid in Love

by Somebodys_Hermione



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, accidental admission of feelings in less than ideal circumstances, and therefore should not have any recent spoilers, mostly just dairon and beau talking so, this doesnt take place in a specific time in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23602027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somebodys_Hermione/pseuds/Somebodys_Hermione
Summary: Dairon needs to have a conversation with Beau about falling in love with coworkers.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	Stupid in Love

"Beauregard, we need to talk.”

Well,  _ shit _ , that never meant anything good, but it was especially worrying considering the fact that Beau was almost 100% sure she hadn’t even done anything wrong this time, so she was frantically racking her brain for what Dairon could possibly want as she sheepishly left her friends at a table in the tavern to follow her mentor outside. The smile Yasha gave her as she left, so full of kindness and mild concern would have, in any other situation, been enough to distract Beau for a full day, so it was more than a little annoying that she now had to be focusing on whatever it was she’d fucked up this time. 

Dairon cut an imposing figure, standing stoically on the streets of Zadash with the gray stormy skies above her. But then again, Dairon was always an imposing figure; it was one of her best qualities. So when she leveled her gaze at Beau and said, “Walk with me”, well Beau started walking. 

They didn’t say anything at first, just slowly meandering in and out of the streets, trying to avoid large groups of people and not draw too much attention (which couldn’t really be considered hard for the well-trained monks, but they were being cautious). There might have been a festival a few days ago, or a festival coming up (Beau isn’t entirely sure) but there were half bits of decorations beginning to adorn the outsides of homes and businesses, and with the dampness in the air and small bits of sunshine beginning to poke through the sky and the knowledge that her and her friends would get to stick around here for at least a little bit, Beau feels a little of what she thinks might be peace. 

“I think it’s time we talk about your relationship with the Mighty Nein.”

Dairon doesn’t even turn to look at her when she says it, but it still manages to bring both of them to a halt. 

“Fuck, yeah, sure, I mean, what about them?” There’s a sense of impending doom that Beau can feel slowly creeping into her bones, but she doesn’t know what to do about that. Instead, all she manages to do it rub her neck in a way that’s she’s sure looks very stupid and maintain what she hopes is a pointedly neutral expression. 

There’s a brief flicker of...regret? Pain? Discomfort? Something in Dairon’s eyes, but it’s gone so quickly that Beau tries not to dwell on it, and she doesn’t even have time to dwell on it because before she’d even really noticed it Dairon is talking and her vision suddenly snaps into focus. “Beauregard, I am concerned that you are developing...how should I put this...attachments that will only continue to make your job harder in the future.” 

If you’d asked her, Beau would have loved to tell you that she responded immediately with righteous indignation or some shit, but honestly, at the time, all she’d been able to process was confusion. “What the  _ fuck _ are you talking about Dairon? The Nein are my fucking team. They make my job a hell of a lot easier is what they do.”

“I am not talking about the group as a whole. I do understand that they have helped you achieve many things that would not have been possible on your own, though,” and there’s a bemused expression on the elder expositor's face as she pauses “I have not always agreed with your methods, I can rarely argue with your results. No, I'm talking about relationships more...personal than that.” And suddenly Dairon is staring directly into her soul and Beau is terrified. “I’ve noticed something going on between yourself and your barbarian compatriot. Would you care to elaborate on this for me, Beau?”

Well, shit. This wasn’t a conversation Beau was particularly interested in having, and she would have just cut and run if she wasn’t completely certain Dairon would catch up and be pissed. So deflecting was the next best option here. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dairon, there’s nothing going on.” And oh man, the look she got from Dairon was  _ withering _ . “Look, it’s not like it's anything serious or long-term, you don’t need to be worrying about it.” Another scowl. “It’s not gonna interfere with my job Dairon, alright, I promise.”

The other monk at least seemed satisfied that the last excuse was truthful enough, but her eyes were still focused on Beau intently. “That’s not a thing you can promise. That’s not a thing you can  _ know _ .”

The words dug into Beau’s stomach and stung. She wanted to punch something, but Dairon was not a person to just decide to punch, so she settled for yelling. “And what are you here for Dairon, huh? What the fuck do you want me to do? Don’t tell me you’re about to do tell me the stupid lesson they always say in the books.  _ Love makes you stupid, Beauregard, love makes you reckless, don’t fall in love if you want to be a good monk and leave worldly attachments behind.  _ That’s  _ bullshit.  _ And you know I find it mildly insulting because when people say that love makes you stupid, it is greatly underestimating my ability to be stupid all on my own. I was doing dumb as fuck shit long before I fell in love with Yasha and I’ll be doing it long after she realizes she can do better than me, so if you’re trying to somehow make me a functional human, fucking try something else, because this isn’t gonna help.”

She was mildly out of breath by the time she got to the end, and she was fully prepared for Dairon to immediately retort in anger, but for some reason, Dairon looked...smug? And that realization lined up almost perfectly with Beau processing exactly what had come out of her mouth and oh….fuck. 

“So, you love her? Interesting.” and you could  _ hear  _ the smirk in Dairon’s voice. Beau was certain her face was bright red by this point. 

“Shit, fuck don’t tell her I fucking said that, it’s not, I mean, I meant it when I said it's not serious, so I didn’t and just-” Her rambling got cut off by a gentle gloved hand on her shoulder. The touch was surprising, and Beau’s mentor wasn’t really someone who could be described as gentle or someone who gave sad smiles, but here she was doing exactly that and making Beau incredibly confused. 

“I am happy for you Beauregard, but you...” Dairon sighed tiredly like she didn’t know how to continue. “You need to understand that this job is not a job that lends itself to happy relationships. It just doesn’t. Sometimes you may need to leave for months at a time, and I can’t guarantee you’ll always come back from those missions. You’re going to have to make very difficult choices, and those choices become all the more difficult when a person you care about is involved. You won’t be able to pledge your life to someone when you work for the Soul in the way you and I do. It just isn’t possible for people like us.”

Beau snorted, which immediately caused Dairon to pull back in surprise. She had begun to laugh, which definitely earned her an incredulous look but she couldn’t stop. 

“Fuck, Dairon you think I didn’t know that? I’ve watched Yasha leave on missions for her god a fuckton at this point, and I  _ never  _ knew if she was gonna come back, and yeah it sucked. I’m sure it would suck for her if I ever left but like, it’s about waiting. Waiting and enjoying the moments you get. I want to help people, Dairon. I want to do the work of an Expositor and I want to pledge the parts of my life left over to someone who understands that. And like, we’re  _ all  _ gonna die, it's just a matter of making sure there’s someone to show up at your funeral and lie about how cool you were.”

“That’s mature of you to say, Beauregard.” Dairon still had incredulity dotted in her expression, but it had replaced the sadness, which Beau thought was probably a good sign. 

“Hey fuck you, its been known to happen,” Beau retorted which even got a light chuckle out of Dairon who replied, “I hope you’re able to succeed at that Beau. I really do for your sake.”

“I’m certainly gonna fucking try. I’m the closest I’ve ever been to happy Dairon. And I know it's not always going to be this nice, but I’m good with getting to savor the happy bits when we get them, for the rest of my life, if Yasha’ll put up with me for that long.” 

“I suppose we’ll just have to wait 50 years and find out.” Dairon began walking again (Beau had kind of forgotten they’d just been standing in an alleyway) “Why don’t I walk you back to the tavern and your group?”

The walk back was just as quiet, but it was...nice. Companionable silence. Felt right. 

Beau was taken aback by Dairon following her into the tavern, but everyone seemed happy to see the strange mysterious mentor figure of one of their friends, so she didn’t think too much of it (besides she needed a drink). 

It wasn’t until she sat down and overheard Dairon questioning Yasha about her “intentions with Beau” that she started choking on the mead she was drinking. 

**Author's Note:**

> Full blame goes to TheWisdomQueen


End file.
